Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
