She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
