those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
