people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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