Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
