so that wasnt chicken after all
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
