we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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