oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
