I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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