You can't motorboat a personality
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
