I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
