girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
