Little spoons don't ask big questions
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
