I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
