Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
