You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
