I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
