Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
