There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
