1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
