What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
