4 words: hood of his car
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
