how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
