I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
