A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
