Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
