Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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