He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
