OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
