If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
