Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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