I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
