i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
