It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
