if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just threw up on my dentist
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
