Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The feeling are messing with the penis
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
