so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
