but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
