D3 body, D1 cock
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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