Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize