Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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