Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
