I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
ugly people sure do ruin things
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
