yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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