Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
