I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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