Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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