T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
