You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
