i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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