I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
