Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He better not be in your backpack
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
