Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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