u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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