So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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