It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
