if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
