super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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