i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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