Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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