I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It's like God shit irony all over that family
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
