Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
